Sunday, October 2, 2011

10 tips for dads of daughters



there are a tonne of guides out there to teach you how to do everything under the sun. but i particularly enjoyed this read by michael for life to her years. there are a whole bunch of little things in the list that i've never given much thought. but to the parents of little girlies out there, here's 10 tips (plus one bonus) i've picked from the article and from my own superhero dad, enjoy!

1. be there - nothing in the world replaces your presence in her childhood. be there at her first piano recital. be the first one to receive her with hugs and kisses after a swim meet. be there after her first break up. be there when she needs to decide on what her wedding theme is. just be there. 

2. do things together - granted you might not be the master of all trades and you might not know everything but learn and do things together. go cycling with her, teach her how to do math, learn dancing just cos she loves it too. it will definitely come in handy for both of you one day. 

3. its ok to love her more - in asian cultures, it's often seen as a weakness to give in to your child. its a power struggle. the stronger one wins. im not saying that candy for breakfast or bedtime past midnight should be an everyday affair but its ok to indulge in her whims and fancies once in a while. and yes, its ok to admit that you love her more than your pride or your parenting rules. 

4. encourage her curiosities - the world is a cold and hard place. and one day she will learn the social, fashion and gender norms like it or not. so its not your job to impose it on her. so if she wants to ride a bike. play baseball. if she wants to dress in pants, wear stripes with dots or climb a tree. be ok with it.

5. always come home - home is where i always want to be. a rave party? my home. chill out for a few hours? my folks would always have chilled soda, a listening ear and a comfy couch open to us and our friends. and more importantly, i'd always think of home when im feeling miserable. my parents made home fun, safe and a protected haven from the wild. its ok to come home in a funk, curl up in bed and cry. and talk about it. somewhere in between, you'd feel better.

6. tell her she is beautiful - just last year, i was raving about this beautiful successful girl i met, gorgeous blog, lovely home and with jaw-drop awe, i was showing dad the pictures online. all he said was "my daughter is much prettier than that." and he meant it from his heart. his confidence in me exudes in all aspects of my life. and that, no one can do. 

7. teach her about life - no one in college will teach her how to suck nectar out of ixora plant, how to start a fire out of sticks, how to read a map. so teach her. and she will tell her children one day "grand-daddy taught me how to do it". you wanna claim credit whenever possible. 

8. be the one she calls - im sure at some point it gets tiring to be always troubleshooting. but dad is always game for midnight suppers, chauffeuring duties and when im totally in trouble, dad is always on my speed dial. he has the answers to everything.

9. protect her -  when i was little, i was in a nasty dog accident. for the next few years in my life, i carried scars on my face. and in that few years. there were no mirrors in my home, no pictures and somehow they managed to keep that from me. till today, i have no idea how horrific i look.  always have her back. towards an unreasonable teacher, a bully or just the hard knocks in life. protect her with all you can. every girl needs a superhero.

10. love her mom - your relationship is the only one she has insight into. no other television show or family can replace that and when she grows up she is likely to use that as a benchmark in her family so treat her mother with love, respect and honor and everything that you want your little girl to be treated with by the love of her life.  

11. love her man - you don't have to love everyone single person she dates
but when he's the one, fight every ouce of resistance in your heart and love him like your own son. she needs you to.

do you have little tips of your own to add to my list?
xx

8 comments:

  1. Love this post! I'm so glad Clover has a father who checks all 10 boxes. As for no. 11, it could take Sterl a while to come round to it lol!

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  2. @jzlyn

    he is every little girl's dream daddy!! but the last one took my daddy 28 years!! xx

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  3. i love this, so does my hubby! he's hooked on it and has to read it every day :D

    may i share?

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