over icecreams & shaker fries, the conversation with aggie was awfully blunt and self-revealing. and she said "you have to stop. its a vicious cycle" something so simple. but i've got no balls.
very frankly, to my own self, i know that i as been a downward rolling cycle. and a very easy and comfortable one at that. maybe thats why i havent dug myself out. the succession of boyfriends from one to the other was seamlessly smooth and done without much thought. (probably led to the glaring mifits in characters that i don't uncover till much later) before im done with one thing, my eyes are pried shopping for the next. which often leads to the common big relationship no-no: cheating.
recently, in conversation with a friend, he asked whats my biggest vice in the 7 deadly sins.. im guilty of pride, envy, greed, gluttony, but what topped the like, unsurprisingly was lust. i was indeed very ashamed. but i knew that was the truth.
so have i really loved all this while?
and what do i do now?
its not the coming of age and the need to settle down but the need to be true to my achey breaky, guilty heart.
i need to stop.
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