Wednesday, September 19, 2012

this little red dot.

do you justify every major decision in life?
we do that a lot

maybe its a self-assured pat on the back, or a reminiscing tool
but we find ourselves thinking about and (over)justifying all our decisions in life. 


one thing on my mind is our recent move home.

for some odd reason, i've not used the word "home" for the longest time.
no offense.. cos i've always been singaporean.
but perhaps its the way we were raised. 
and how spread out my own family is in the world 
but i grew up learning that home is where my heart's at so its was never location specific.


and there were many driving factors why i/we left. 
so the husband is not kidding when he says he had to drag me back.

and i'd get mad at him when he doesn't specifically explain to his co-workers that
the reason for our return is not his singaporean wife.
and not cos of our child. 
(im deathly afraid of this whole "my evil wife tricked me into marriage, tie me down with a child and now im stuck in asia." notion. it's like a huge thing for me..)


but this time feels different. 
the humidity & noise is bearable. things that used to bug us don't as much anymore.
every meal is delicious and we're so appreciative. 
we want to share this special place with our baby & muu-beans 
(and feed them all kinds of tropical fruits)
i will no longer cling on to my pre-paid number (as a sign of impermanence) 
and we truly want to make things right. 

maybe that's what you feel when you grow up.
or maybe its like falling in love.
the right moment crosses with the right elements and magic happens.

im sure the magic shininess will wear off in a bit.
but for now...
everything feels snug and perfect. 
and im so grateful to find home again.

xx

12 comments:

  1. this is a beautiful entry zhing! i'm glad you're happy and settling into your new home.

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  2. Replies
    1. we were just laughing how starbucks is no longer good enough for us! we have to hunt down yakun before we can have a morning cuppa! lol! :) its a sign that we're home!

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  3. aw i'm glad that you guys are settling in so well! you do seem very happy :) it's all about timing. maybe you're ready to nest! or.... maybe tokyo was just THAT bad?

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    1. tokyo isn't bad at all! (esp. with you guys..) but maybe its the nesting instincts!

      p.s. we made a "huge" (in size) purchase today! *gulp* here we go!

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  4. hmm,i am exceptionally thankful to have the company of my loved ones these days :)

    live. love. laugh.

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  5. Oh, I can so relate to your post. The word "home" has been the cause of so many heated debates between me and my husband. I've not yet been able to call any place a "home" because it seems like we're constantly on the move. But I do think that once a little bundle comes along, it makes greater sense to sink your roots and gradually build a home for you and your loved ones :)

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    Replies
    1. i hear ya! moving often really messes with my head sometimes! *hugs*

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