Sunday, June 1, 2008

the french stall

yesterday, i fessed up. over steak and smashed potatoes, chocolate souffle and french onion soup. i told daniel that i was angry and frustrated and didn' know how to deal with it but i want to get rid of it. i want to work it out and be the same happy ole me. and most of all, i don't want to walk away like i always do.

he was angry and frustrated as well. but he is dealing with it way better than i am. and im so proud of him.

i will be better.

so this is the action plan, as suggested by my superbly wonderful boyfriend.

1) come to terms that i'm (we are..) ill - check
2) be thankful of all the things that we have - check
3) control my thoughts/emotions - working on it always
4) let it out

(1) and (2) are pretty easy. and i know it already. (3) is the tiring one that drains the energy out of me. (4) im particularly bad at. thats when i typically walk away and hide from the problem. but this time i don't want to walk away. there is something right and special here. i want to work it out and it has to work out right?

yesterday at the wedding, i met families with special needs children. their families were all so normal and embrace their child's behavior/medical condition with such ease and patience. it was painful to watch even and sorta sad but it was a reminder that there are heaps of unfortunate situation. its how you deal with it that differentiate yourself from a 'normal' parent and a 'special' one. and i want to be special. i want to be an extraordinary person with a huge heart. so this little hurdle of ours, we will pass it.

and we'll do it swell.


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