Monday, June 16, 2008

double o..

last night after dinner at ramen at gallery hotel, daniel and i drove down mohamed sultan road. took a right turn at double0 and it brought back horrid memories of an ex-bf of mine. more specifically where he broke into a fist fight with a random passerby when he came to my 'rescue' cos wilson was seen grabbing me. it was a painful memory i chose to put behind me but whenever i passed double o, images of that drama, the bouncers and me shamefully chasing after him so we could go home together, apologising and feeling guity that a fight broke out because of me and even more horrified that i was still getting into his car, subjecting myself to more abuse to come.

i told daniel.

traumatic as it was, it was part of me. part of the burden i carry with me and what shaped me to be who i am.. after wilson, i toughened up a whole lot and became very defensive and guarded towards boys.

while i was wallowing in self-pity, daniel told me about his not-so-wonderful experience in double o as well. he went there once to watch a bachata competition, got into an arguement with his then-gf and missed the entire show. which made me feel horrible as well.. how could anyone fault such a wonderful, easy-going and thoughtful guy like him? and to the extend of arguing and ruining an entire evening out? that's pretty extreme..

i felt bad. but also relieved that as we drove away from double o, it was pretty clear that we left our past behind.


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