our therapist..

hmm.. somethin i won't be able to comfortable share with most people just cos its embarrassing i guess and way too personal. there are certainly gazillion things to be thankful for but this shared experience is really not quite it. ;)

im glad two months later we can still hold each other when times are bad and rub each other back encouragingly, 'its ok.. it will be fine' we keep telling ourselves knowing that it won't be ever fine.

and the worst part is, we both don't deserve it cos we are good people. some days its just sadder than others. and last night was one of them. i had a recurrent outbreak. and needed to go see therapist. but i have been cancelling on daniel on every occasion he requests my presence. and i guess it was important for me to be at his melbourne uni alumni dinner.  so i did.. but i felt squirmish and uncomfortable throughout. and was exceptionally jumpy and fussy..

sorry, hon. thanks for putting me to bed and stroking my head telling me i'll be fine. it did make me feel slightly better..

i love you.