Friday, December 7, 2007

wish i was this intelligent back then...

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion... Dad, she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime, we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your son, John
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card. Mine is in my top desk drawer. I love you. Please call me when it's safe to come home.

9 comments:

  1. this is a good one..
    Great idea!

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  2. don't show your kid!! if i receive it from my kid, i think i'll vomit blood..

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  3. wahahahhaha!! love this! it's so FUNNY! =p

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  4. Holy Cow
    I would've prolly passed out after reading the AIDS part. ha! Not really. Gosh! This is some innovative shit. If I pulled this one off, my parents would abso-fuckin-lutely disown me. Period.

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  5. Holy Cow
    I would've prolly passed out after reading the AIDS part. ha! Not really. Gosh! This is some innovative shit. If I pulled this one off, my parents would abso-fuckin-lutely disowned me. Period.

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  6. Re: Holy Cow
    mine too... i'll prob get grounded for another 2 weeks for being a smart alec

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  7. i know! my work pals forwarded this to me.. hilarios!

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