Sunday, February 25, 2007


warning: accumulation of the angst collected from my visit home.

1) fat. fat. FAT.
2) time to get married & how i should not have broken up.
3) fat.fat. FAT. 

very very upsetting. im not saying im not fat. im just saying that some sensitivity is needed. 

seriously. relatives are odd. the whole concept of having relatives. just cos they share the same family name, they seem to think its ok for them to try to run your life. honestly. how can a person who doesn't know whats your fav. hobby, has no idea where exactly you work, basically not have an idea of what sort of person you are dictate your life and how in their perfect world, zhing, the cousin/niece/grandchild/daughter-of cousin-of-grandfather-of-aunt or whatever you are, should already be married with two kids or three AND should have a 24 inch waist and skinny legs. 

this concept of seniority is also becoming quite foreign to me. just because you are my 'elder' doesn't quite mean you lead the life i yearn for, you make more sense or you are my role model. it just means you are born earlier or you married someone older. 

regarding the ex: yes, he was the same dialect, he had everything materially and he seems nice and polite. but you only but saw him for 2 times.. (my bad.. i should learn from the lesson. NEVER BRING BOYFRIENDS TO SEE RELATIVES PERIOD) you don't even know what made us broke up. if at this stage, he goes to SDU for speed-dating which in my terms is equivalent to cheating on me... he is not someone i wanna be together with. disagree? by all means. but its my life. i call the shots.

im just VERY sorry i have disappointed so many people with my present look / life decisions / current choice of job. but very frankly, i never thought it mattered to you. and i still think it's none of your business.


  1. "but its my life. i call the shots."
    "but very frankly, i never thought it mattered to you. and i still think it's none of your business."
    i like that statement. i get the same nonsense on how to live my life from some acquaintances, colleagues and bosses even, tho on slightly diff issues - why i waste money on buying so many plastic little girls, why i buy a depreciating assert like a new car, why did i waste my degree by not going into advertising, why i watch anime shows on such a small screen on my psp...
    "corporate propriety" and "economics' logic" are too abstract for me to understand.

  2. you are quite right girl. no one should judge us and tell us how to live our life.
    dun care about them. from what i can see with my eyes, you are a beautiful girl. :)

  3. hey babe, I can totally empathise with how u feel, I took a lot of shit from those "seniors" in the family this new year too. *pui!* but don't worry dear, as long as u're happy, no one should interfere. it's your life, i can see u're enjoying it and do live it to the max!

  4. hi dear
    i understand how you feel. and sometimes i dunno why relatives are blood related because we are so so different. that said, sometimes i guess all they wanna do is make conversation and it comes out all wrong. i really hope that u feel better dear. u're an inspiration to me because u are always living your life the happiest way you can. what better life can we ask for? take care girl.

  5. i suspect i wrote those two lines trying to convince myself that i really don't care but it really hurts inside..
    *phew* good thing my colleagues & bosses ain't like that. i would be totally pissed..

  6. awww. thanks hon, im sorry its happening to you. as i told stef b4, you girls have in my dreamjob which till today i still regret not taking up the offer. =(
    you have fun! im living vicariously thru your experiences!!

  7. thanks babes... im trying to learn how to take their comments with a pinch of salt. thought the angst would end when i board that plane back to the states but the emails and phone calls still keep coming..

  8. oh my gosh.. just saw your new year photoshoot!! veryvery pretty! like your dress!! *grins*

  9. heheh, thanks la. I bought it the day i landed in Singapore just before CNY! just in time! hehe. I like the big belt look with the red dress? glad u felt it was pretty :)


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