Monday, July 24, 2006

sick

was never a big fan of doctors. especially hospitals cos it always feels cold and i get squirmish when i see people injured, bloody, in pain or crying. so when i was not feeling well for the whole week, i self medicated, begged pharmacists to give me off the counter medication, tried panadol and everything i could... 

yesterday, i woke up fine. did laundry, straightened out the room, talk to deaf, even managed to go shopping,got on my knees to clean my carpet of scotch's fur, nurse my daisy, check out my african tulip, fold clothes, box my books and dvds, clear dirty dishes, re-arrange my fridge and throw out week-long food. drove to work feeling fine, planning where i can go for dinner and whether to buy a tv for my room.. once i hit the parking lot at Kingsmill, it hit me. the world started spinning, my back hurt, my tummy hurt and it was just the worst pain ever. i rolled over to the passenger seat and just groaned and moaned and complained the whole way home. even then, i was adament.

after that, everything crashed downhill. i was the whiniest brat on earth rolling on my sofa, Marcin called the Emergency hotline to find the nearest hospital. looked for my insurance claims card. rummage through my mess to find my passport, my social security card and grabbed everything he thought i would need and drove me directly to A&E. all i remembered of the doctor was that he was wearing casino print sleep pants and had funky eyewear. and he told me that i did not have to clench onto the chair that hard. 

i still maintain that the hospital is a scary place. i saw little cubicles (just like HK sitcoms) with sobbing kids, broken wrists, bloody eye and there i was pacing around nervously wanting out. i felt so alone. not knowing how much damage this would cost, not knowing whats wrong with me, not knowing when i can get Marcin to leave and go for dinner.. it was not nice. and noey called cos my room looked like it was ransacked, lights were on and yellowpages was flipped to A&E page.. darn. so drama.. but in short, i survived and walked out feeling much better...

two hours later, we were all happily in a booth at Cheeburger sipping milk-shake, bouncing to 70's music and me nibbling on cherry tomatoes..  the medication works wonders. should have gone earlier cos it wasn't that bad afterall..

well, on the other hand, the boyfriend just told me he 'recently joined SDU'. funny how only Singaporeans understand the slight nuances in that statement. it was kinda what i wanted for him just because i didn't want to be selfish. but it still hurts. 

somehow the hurt from those three words kinda sting worse than my weeklong physical turmoil. 

i'll live.

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